A Nepali Wedding!!!!

The very young bride and groom! Age 18 and 17, an arranged marriage

My clinic manager Devi invited me to her nephew's wedding! She invited me on a Wednesday as she boarded the bus to go to the wedding, telling me to come on Saturday.

Well, at first I was rather confused.
Me: "You're going to the wedding now?"
Devi: "Yes, going now"
Me: "But I should come on Saturday?"
Devi: "Yes, with Sabina, on bus."

Apparently Nepali weddings are big parties lasting between 2-4 days. Anyone who knows anyone in the semi-immediate family (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and grandparents) are invited.

The groom! Making his rounds around the minivan.

Nepali band, rockin the bazaar

Friday evening I walk down to the bazaar and find a party going on! It's pretty small, but there's this big bamboo thing that's been constructed with intricate strings wrapped around and a little fire going in the middle. There's a couple people sitting around putting things into the fire (bits of wood or bits of red colored rice), singing prayers, and there's several little plates of food near the fire (offerings). Apparently, it's part of the wedding! There's a several day party at the groom's house and a several day party at the bride's house.

Some young friends I made Saturday morning in the bazaar at the Bhotechaur location wedding party

Saturday morning I wake up and I put on my party clothes (I just had a kurtha surwal made) and run down to the bazaar where I hear music playing before clinic opens. There's people in all their fine clothes, makeup, and gold, dancing and a full (Nepali) band!! Sarita and Paru (from clinic) soon join me and we watch people dancing, listen to the music, and drink tea. Someone comes around and puts red rice tikkas on our foreheads. A decked out minivan pulls up, and this young man in a funny grass necklace comes out of the nearby buildings and walks around it three time with incense. People keep stopping him to shove money in his hat or hands. Every time he walks around, more people follow him. Some of them throw rice, some of them dance. I find out that this is the groom, on his way to the bride's part of the party. In Nepal, this may be the first time the bride and groom meet. The minivan fills up to the brim (including the full band), and drives off. Time for clinic!

Women (and some kids) dancing, singing, and playing drums

At the end of the day Paru, Sarita, Sabina and I walk down to the bazaar again. Since the morning party left, a bunch of women wearing red have remained in the bazaar all day. They play drums, take turns singing songs and dancing. We are fed, and then fed some more. Apparently the bride and groom's family have to feed all the party goers 24-7 for the extent of the wedding. I ate sell, a kind of not-too-sweet rice flour doughnut, crispy puffed spiced rice, little sweet hard rice flour balls, and plenty of veggies and rice. Then Sabina and I hop on the bus.

Sarita and I stirring one of many giant pots of food over a cooking fire on the roof

The bus, so full that folks are sitting on the roof--
which is illegal but not strongly enforced

After a little engine trouble and spending some time wondering if we'd have to walk the remaining distance to Devi's home (where the party is going on--it would have been about a 3 hour walk up and down the Himalaya), we make it safely to the party! We spot Devi in the crowd almost immediately, she is going around and being a very gracious host to everyone. I'm immediately brought over to the bride and groom. I awkwardly place a red rice tikka on both their foreheads and give them money. The bride offers to pour water over my hands to clean off the extra goop. I'm then taken over to a 7 year old boy who is sitting with his two older sisters and is also, apparently celebrating something. I also put a tikka on him and give him money.

At this point many people have already put tikka (red colored rice)
onto the bride and groom, so they have a GIANT tikka on their foreheads

Then, we dance!! Some cute old ladies teach me the traditional Nepali dancing style. You have to wave your hands around a lot in little circles while first turning right, then turning left. This one middle aged guy was going around jumping/squatting/dancing with a bowl, and if he touches your feet and dances in front of you, you have to put money in it. Sabina tried to get out of dancing by manning the camera (she got some great shots), but I eventually grabbed the camera away and made her dance too. As soon as we stopped dancing, we were given MORE food. More of the delicious sell-doughnuts, veggies, tea, and then raksi, the local moonshine. I was a little hesitant to try it since it was being served in big bowls (and sharing cups/plates/utensils is a HUGE no-no), but eventually I was able to get a very tiny serving. It is distilled from millet, and is very, very strong. We finish our snack and about 15 minutes later Devi finds us again and tells us that we absolutely must have dinner now! So....we go off to eat again. Rice, beans, goat(? maybe buffalo) meat, potatoes, cauliflower....yum!!

Dancing! Hands in the air! Twirling!

After dinner I speak a little bit with some folks that know some English (I'm the only foreigner at the party). I try to use the little Nepali I know as best I can. We watch the dancers while we chat. Nepali people don't ever display public affection, not even hand holding- so this applies to dancing as well. Most of the dancing so far has just been group dancing, but now that it's getting later and slowing down a little bit the dance floor is more empty, and I get to watch a young couple dance together. It's really beautiful, there's all the same turning right and then left with the hands in the air, but they twirl and circle around each other, with the man leading. A shy 20 something gentleman asks to dance with me (he doesn't speak a lick of English so Sabina translates), and so I dance too! We dance the rest of the night-the young men are constantly trying to drag more women onto the dance floor. A lot of folks keep walking up to me and telling me they thought I was Nepali, and complimenting my dancing (note: they only compliment my dancing after realizing I'm a foreigner). The bride and groom remained seated and ready to receive guests almost the entire night. I'm not sure if they even got up to dance.

I spent the night in a spare room (quite literally only a bed and standing space) at Devi's house. In the morning I sat with a bunch of cute old ladies to have leftover sell and tea. There was then a little farewell ceremony with bestowing tikkas and kata (silk scarf), and beer, coke, mandarins, and apple slices on some extended family that had travelled from some distance to attend the wedding. They made me join in too! Then around noon we packed as many people as possible (standing room only) onto the back of a pickup truck and hurtled down the bumpy roads back to the hospital (with may stops along the way).

Additional note...

Additional fundraising note:
Looks like I overestimated shipping costs of yak wool blankets (the blankets themselves are not all that expensive). I was initially selling them for $45, but I can do so for $35ish (maybe $37). If you've already made your donation I'll be happy to give you back $10ish--or I can bring you some handmade incense from the Buddhist nuns at Kopan Nunnery!

If you'd like to order, email me at eceyildirim9@gmail.com and let me know of any color requests (or colors that you don't want). You can give me your donation when I get the blanket to you, or you can donate via paypal (see previous post) or mail me a check at:

114 Sausalito Dr.
East Amherst, NY 14051

Of course I'm not there at the moment, but my parents will be happy to deposit your check for me.

Love and light,
Ece

Fundraising Sales:

Email me at: eceyildirim9@gmail.com to place your order

Yak wool scarf appx 12"/60": $30 donation

Yak wool blanket appx 34"/80" (can about cover a single bed): $37 donation

Handmade ground herb incense by Khachoe Ghakyil Ling Nunnery

Each $7-10 donation, or 3 for $20

     Rhododendron Forest

     Medicine Buddha

     Lotus Blossom

     Tibetan Healing

Prayer flags

     Small: $10

     Large: $12

Prayer flags blessed by Tibetan monks

     Money for blessing will go directly to the monks, give whatever feels right to you

Where does the money go?

Fund raising goal: $3,965

$1000 minimum donation to Mindful Medicine to pay for interpreters, supplies, most living expenses, and administrative expenses

$1800 (appx) in airfare*

$365 Travel insurance (discounted for volunteers)

$100+ for Nepali visa

$300 estimated for additional transportation and living expenses in Nepal for 3+ months

$400 estimated additional expenses (travel supplies, clinic supplies, passport renewal)

*$1800 is approximately the cost of a round trip flight from the US to Nepal in the off-season. I will not be taking a direct round trip flight, but will be instead making a few stop-overs to visit friends and relatives, and will pay additional expenses out-of-pocket.

Mindfulness and Mindful Medicine Worldwide

I've arrived in Nepal!

I have had some trouble accessing internet, so I apologize for the slow posts.

I wanted to take some time to tell you a little bit about the work I've begun in Nepal with Mindful Medicine Worldwide. I'll tell you more about the day-to-day life in the clinic next time.

The two buildings at the top of the hill are the Bhotechaur Hospital; my clinic is a room in the lower pink colored one, and I am staying in a room in the upper building with blue accents. I drink buffalo milk tea regularly at the building at the bottom of the hill!

Volunteers are carefully selected for this program. It is not enough to be willing to work in a rural foreign clinic with limited modern comforts in a busy clinic-- electricity and hot water are unreliable, and buildings are not heated-- but the organization wants volunteers with an open heart and as their name suggests, volunteers who are practice being Mindful.

Here's a picture of the inside of my clinic. Three beds; one normal sized and two narrow.

So what does it mean to practice Mindfulness? I've struggled a lot with defining this concept in words alone, as it is something you do (a verb!). It is being present in every moment, being fully alive rather than going on auto pilot. You can practice it in a myriad of different ways; meditation and tai ji are some ways that help me remain Mindful. Tai ji has the added benefit of aiding my physical health through exercise and alignment, but both practices help me to clear the busyness out of my head. I feel that it is important to clarify that sitting and standing meditation are not a means to an end, though; meditation is for the sake of meditation! Meditation is being totally present in the moment, with nothing else going on.

This is a picture of the entire town of Bhotechaur1 (Bhotechaur is actually spread out over 8 little farmtowns). You can see the Bhotechaur hospital at the top of the hill, and the Helambu Himalaya (possibly a little of the Lapsong region too) in the far background.

A quick fundraising update:

Currently I’ve raised approximately 75% of my volunteer related expenses! This has allowed me to pay most of my major expenses; airfare, vaccines and traveler's health insurance, but other expenses like herbs/supplements (prevent parasites and adjust to altitude changes), travel within Nepal, food, candles for when the power is cut, etc. are still underfunded. If you are financially able (or have friends who are), please consider making a donation to support the Mindful Medicine Worldwide and my work there! All donations are tax deductable as MMW is a non-profit organization.

You can make donations one of these 2 methods:

Mail a check (made out in my name) to:

114 Sausalito Dr.

East Amherst, NY 14051

Send via PayPal:

You can also scroll down to my first fundraising post to see a list of items you can purchase from Nepal!

Visit MMW’s website or continue following my blog for more information. I’ll be working in the Bhotechaur clinic, 1-2 hours outside Kathmandu.

Love and light,

Ece